A Tearful Close to a Wonderful Chapter

So I'm on my last week. This time next week, I will look out my window and I will not see Paris. So I'm going to inflict my coping mechanism on all of you. Here it is, everyone. Not as fantastic as Renée's, but it reflects what's in my heart.

Goodbye, Paris

Well that day has finally come boys and girls. I am no longer in Paris. It has been a crazy, insane semester. A depressing, angry, homesick semester. And yet, Paris did something rediculous to me. I sat in the airport waiting for my plane to depart, reading my journal, and I cried. I cried that i was leaving Paris, I cried that i was leaving my friends, I cried that i was going home. i cried because i was happy, i cried because i was sad. and does that make sense? fuck no. but it happened. so i reiterate: paris=eggs. I hate eggs. They taste like sulfur. they smell bad, look nasty, have a weird consistency, and are really just a gelatinous dead chicken. But did i eat an egg on a baguette every day i was in paris...? yes. yes i did. so here is the only way i know to say goodbye to someplace...through video. Thanks to Ali, Vincent and Andrew for being my camera...guys...yes. And thanks to everyone that i met in paris. Without you guys, i never would have survived. you all made it bearable. I miss you all terribly, but I know i'll be seeing you soon.

The Beginning of the End

Hey all--it's Ali. Writing to you as the only Flemington lady left in Paris. The other one left yesterday morning. So everyone wish Renée a bon retour as she is now in Jersey availing herself of diner food.

I am writing right now because I do not know what else to do. It feels like my world is about to collapse around my ears and I can see it coming. I started my goodbye rounds today, though I am still here for the rest of June. I just wanted some time alone for my favorite places. So I told the Pyramid in front of the Louvre today that I hoped I would see it again in the near future. I walked the Champs-Élysées by myself, just soaking it all in. This time next month, I won't be able to. And that is a scary feeling. I always felt like I had all the time in the universe to spend here. And now that time is running out.

Six months wasn't enough. I am just starting to feel I have a home here. I am just starting to feel comfortable enough to open my mouth and say something, to make new friends. Who would have guessed that the thought of going home would make me cry as hard as the thought of staying here did three months ago.

What hit it home was Renée leaving. I am going to see her in three weeks--it shouldn't make me cry. But Paris is changing for me now with each friend that goes home, not to mention the wonderful people I am going to leave behind. I have recently come to realize that my heart will never feel whole in one place again. Home is where the heart is, after all, but what they don't tell you is that home never gives your heart back to you when you must move on to different adventures. And that realization has not made me want to stop leaving pieces of myself in far-off lands.

For most of my stay here, Paris has been a separate living, breathing entity. Sometimes even my adversary; a force to be reckoned with. Now, I am a part of Paris and Paris will always be a part of me.

So with each tear that falls, I must thank my lucky stars that I am fortunate enough to be a part of such a magnificent city, and that its magnificent spirit will be forever imprinted on my fragmented heart.

Lauterbrunnen!

I'm an idiot. i figured it out. enjoy.

somewhere in between may day and now i have not had any time. so here, finally, is our may day weekend in lauterbrunnen switzerland.